21st Life Anniversary

Tomorrow I'm turning 21. Right now it doesn't feel any different from any other day but 21 opens a door to a lifestyle that is completely different from the one that I have right now. I mean, sure, I went to the bars in Korea like every weekend but I have a suspicion that Korean bars and American bars are two very different beasts. I think the thing I'm most excited about tomorrow is just to see the people in the bars and how people communicate and interact with each other in bars. I'm not really looking to get shitfaced or anything. I mean, I don't really even want to get drunk, I want to reach a pleasant buzz and just have fun out with my friends.

Twenty-one years... That's a long time. Almost 1/4 of a century. When I look back, I can't say I really have much or anything to complain about. I have had a really great and privileged life for the most part. However I definitely can't say that if I died tomorrow I would be at peace with it. I am still young and I have a lot, A LOT, that I still want to accomplish with this time I have. I think the 20s is a time when people really should be doing a lot of self reflection and figuring out what it is they want in their life and who they are. This is the time when I should really be living and experiencing as much as I can. I think I've changed a lot even just in this year. Like, I used to be 100% against the idea of ever having children and even doubtful of that thought that I might even ever get married. But a lot has changed and the idea of having children isn't so sickening and the thought of marriage is definitely a possibility that I could live with. However neither of them will happen for a very long time, believe me. Before I get any of that done, especially having children, I really need to sort my own life out which may take a very long time. But there are other things in my life which have changed and I think I may have changed as a person. I'm not really sure how but I think I must have changed. You know I'm not really one to notice change in myself. As much as I like to self reflect, I just don't notice these things. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I've started to think a lot about how I take care of my body. I mean, it's the only one I get and the quality of my life relies so heavily on it so I really believe I need to take really good care of it while I'm young so I can live a good, healthy life in the long run. That's something I never used to worry about when I was younger. In fact, my mind set would be, "meh, I'm young. My body can take it. I'll just take care of it all when I'm older." but when I'm older it will be so much harder to take good care of my body so I need to get ahead while I'm young so I won't have to work so hard and alter my lifestyle so much when I'm older.

Anyway, those types of thoughts lead quite far into the future. Those are the types of thoughts I tend to think, though. But the thing about thinking like that is you don't know what the circumstances will be far down the road. With the way the world is functioning now everything is so unpredictable. Like, North Korea is hearing rumors that South Korea tried to send someone in to assassinate Kim Jung Il... now... that is a really uncomfortable thought for me. I have been hoping and praying (yes, praying) that nothing crazy will happen in either Koreas for the next two years so any hint of hostility with North Korea instantly sets me on edge. I'm hoping that, because Minguk is going to be in the US military, he won't really get involved in anything involving North and South Korea but he's still there and I still worry and America is so, so, SO good at getting up in other country's businesses. I hope that the rumors just stay rumors and it all gets cleared up. I've said this before and I'll say it again: I hate that stupid military law in Korea.

Whoo, I've jumped around quite a bit in this entry. Sorry about this and this is kind of long.

Some extra thoughts, though - the snow.
The snow! It's amazing but at the same time I hate it because it's keeping my Megan away from me and I do hate being away from my Megan. It is beautiful, though. Especially when it's falling. It was great playing with my dogs in the snow.

Happy Day 7

... that was two days ago.

We took Yuki to the vet and he's all sorts of healthy and got his shots so that made me happy. And... I can't remember anything else really from that day. I saw Diana I think. Yeah. That was good.

Happy Day 6

I'm hoooooooooooooooooome!!!!!!

In a perfect world...

Untitled by burnbunnyburn

I would be able to buy and wear this outfit and look good in it. haha... I recommend trying this out, it's pretty fun.

Happy Day 5

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

Let's see.... I didn't have finals today like so many other people. But I did have to go to class. We ended up just writing a critique on someone else's project which was randomly handed to us. It was pretty easy. I'm drinking hot chocolate right now which always makes me happy. ^^

Happy Day 3&4

I was busy and nowhere near a computer pretty much all day yesterday so I didn't manage to get a happy day update up. So here it is X2!!!!

HAPPY DAY 3

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

I spent the entire day with really awesome people - Lisa, Grace, Meghan, Kaci, Kayla, and Johnny. We had breakfast and then Lisa, Grace and I went walking around Fairhaven and went into a bunch of little shops full of things that were way too expensive for me to buy but really nice to look at. OMG I'm totally getting my custom bedding from that shop in Fairhaven because it was to diiiiiiie foooooorrrrr~~ There were also some incredble paintings that I wanted so badly but they usually were around $200+ so... no. Then after the window shopping (oh and I bought Ainsley her Christmas presents) we went to CreativiTEA and everyone painted really cute stuff. I really liked the way mine turned out and I hope it will fire nicely. I guess I'll have to wait and see, though. After CreativiTEA, we took Grace to see the campus and showed her around (even though it was dark) and Lisa locked us out of the car. Normally this wouldn't make me happy except for the fact that I've been locked out of my car so many times now and it doesn't even phase me anymore because I know, one way or another, I'm getting in. But it was fun watching the young Green Coat try to break into our car. Finally Lisa MIRACULOUSLY figured it out by rolling down the car window on the inside and sticking her hand in to unlock it. It was pretty much amazing and I wish you all could have been there to see it. So after that we went to dinner at La Fiamma and ate super good pizza and then went to Kaci and Johnny's and played games and sleeeept. So yesterday was pretty much all around a really happy day! ^^

HAPPY DAY 4

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

Today I got to eat an AMAZING breakfast at Old Town. It was granola and yogurt and fruit. OMG It was SO GOOD. Like.... the best breakfast ever. I love granola so freaking much and this granola was the best I've ever had so... yeah. And Grace offered to pay for breakfast so that was really nice. ^^ After breakfast I went home and then Ainsley and I went to campus and I got $19.25 for my books that I sold back. Not a huge sum but it's money that I won't have to take out of my checking account so that's great. After that I worked on my last design assigment for about 4 hours. It was kind of nice because I was in this zone of work and efficiency. I like how it came out but I might go back and lighten it because it printed a little dark. ALSO WE'RE OPENING PRESENTS TODAY! I LOVE MATERIAL GOODS!!

OHOHOHOHO

Happy Day 2

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

-I went out to brunch with Ainlsey to The Little Cheerful. Always a pleasant time.
-I bought Lisa her Christmas present so I'm just that much closer to finishing that portion of the holidays.
-I bought a new papercraft robot from a SUUUUUUPER cute toy store downtown.(even though I kind of ruined him because I cut off something that I wasn't supposed to but it's still fun to do.)

It was all-in-all a good day. Very low-key and relaxing. I love not having finals, hahaha...

But to those lovely people who do, I wish you all the best luck!

Happy Day 1

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

- I got to sleep in because my professor basically canceled today's Japanese class (he said come if you want to watch a movie or just don't come).
- I watched two episodes of Ghost Adventures.
- I ate ketchup and rice as part of my dinner. :3

Oooh... but while watching Ghost Adventures, Ainsley and I ate some graham crackers and frosting and now my stomach feels kind of funny. That one top of all the other candy I ate today. I hate the holidays. They make me such a nut for candy which I haven't actually eaten in a long time so my body is flipping shit about it to me. :(

OMG I'M GOING TO GO READ A BOOK THAT ISN'T ACTUALLY REQUIRED FOR A CLASS NOW!! :DDDDDDDDDDD

A survey before I go and do something productive...

1)Are you really ready for 100 questions?
Yes! Let's get this time wasting party started!

2) Was your last relationship a mistake?
The one that I'm not currently in... yeah.

3) Do you believe in God?
Maybe not the same god that Christians believe in.

4) Who did you last say "I love you" to?
Uuuh.... my mom probably.

5) Do you regret it?
Of course not

6) Have you ever been depressed?
lol yeah

7) Do you have a best friend?
A couple :3

8) Are you a boy or girl?
What do you think?

9) What is your relationship status?
In a relationship with Minguk Lee.

10) How do you want to die?
Heroin overdose on my death bed. Or in an epic gun battle.

11) What did you last eat?
Sour Patch Kids

12) When was your last non-physical fight?
I can't remember

13) Do you have an attitude?
Yeah sometimes. I used to be pretty bad when I was younger, though. I think I've calmed down considerably these days, though.

14) Ever been in love?
Yes

15) What is your real name?
Awesome McCoolpants

16) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Not really.

17) Do you miss someone?
Yes.

18) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl!

19) Do you tan a lot?
I don't GO tanning but if I'm out in the sun a lot then I will tan.

20) Have any pets?
Two doggies!

21) How exactly are you feeling?
I kind of regret eating so many sour patch kids because my stomach feels a little funny and my tongue hurts. But otherwise I'm just peachy.

22) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Um... yes?

23) Ever made out in the bathroom?
Uuuh... yeah. Now that I think about it.

24) Would you take any of your exes back?
All one? No. Never.

25) Are you scared of spiders?
More creeped out than scared. I'm afraid of them crawling into my mouth as I sleep.

26) Would you go back in time if you could.
Maybe. Depends on what time.

27) Do you regret anything in your past?
Of course. But I like to try to take them as life lessons and not dwell on them and depress myself.

28) What are your plans for this weekend?
Hmm... well I think Lisa and Grace are coming up on Saturday so I guess I might hang out with them if they'll let me. Then probably drawing and dicking around on the computer and sleeping and stuuuuffffff.

29) Do you want to have kids?
Not right now but maybe in the future once I get all of my own shit together (which may be never).

30) Ever kissed somebody that name starts with an M?
TWO! WHOA!!!!

31) Do you type fast?
Fast but not accurate!

32) Do you have piercings?
I let the ones in my ears fill back in but I kind of want to get them repierced... but I probably won't.

33) Want any more?
I would like to get my lip pierced but A. Might not be good for a teaching job later on down the road B. It fucks up your teeth C. I don't want to pay for expensive fancy metal D. I hear they get infected pretty easily.

34) Can you spell well?
Somewhat.

35) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yeah but it's been so long now. Our lives are so different and I doubt we will cross paths any time soon. But it's nice to reminisce about them.

36) What are you craving right now?
I'm not really hungry now. But I'm looking forward for this tea to cool so I can drink it and soothe my tummy.

37) Ever been to a bonfire party?
A party specifically for a bonfire...? No.

38) Have you ever been on a horse?
Yeah twice. And they both shat when I sat on them. D:

39) Kissed someone in a truck?
In a big shitty SUV, yes. Truck, no.

40) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Lisa says I have but I don't really think I truly have broken anyone's heart.

41) Have you ever been cheated on?
Not to my knowledge.

42) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
I think I made Brandon cry a little when I broke up with him. I almost laughed at him but I'm not that cold hearted of a bitch. Other than that, I don't think so.

43) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yeah I think that's the best idea. It's like a trial period.

44) What should you be doing?
Reading

45) What's irritating you right now?
The nagging voice in my head that's telling me to either study something or read something.

46) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Oh yes.

47) Does somebody love you besides family?
I hope so!

48) What is your favorite color?
Green and black

49) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
I have taken off my shirt in a vehicle because it was so effing hot.

50) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Gross.

51) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yes. My parents are awesome.

52) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I hope not.

53) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Uuummmmmmmmm...... Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh........ I can't even remember.

54) Do you give out second chances too easily?
I haven't really had the option of giving people second chances. But I like to think I'm pretty forgiving.

55) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
It's easier to forgive for me. I always have haunting thoughts of whatever. I even still think of stuff that's happeend when I was really, really young.

56) Is this year the best year of your life?
I'm going to have to go and say it's pretty high up there. More awesome friend time would have been nice, though.

57) What was your child hood nickname?
*shudders* Nasty. WHICH I CAN'T BELIEVE LISA TOLD MINGUK ABOUT, YOU JERK!

58) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
*makes a face* No!

59) Do you think you' re a good person?
Sometimes.

60) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I don't think there's really a set path but I think you can take everything which happens as happening for a reason... if that helps you cope with ever shit goes on in your life.

61) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Did my pre-bed routine of brushing my teeth and crunches/leg exercises and put lotion on.

62) Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Who?
I guess some friends from high school... but... not really....

63) What is bothering you?
The carpet under my chair that keeps getting caught on the leg whenever I push it out to stand up. GAH

64) Have you ever been out of state province?
I LIVE IN AMURICA.

65) Are you listening to music right now?
Yes, Muse.

66) Do you like Chinese food?
Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh..... Yum.

67) Do you know your fathers b-day?
Yep. January 31st.

68) Are you afraid of the dark?
When I'm alone and not tired enough to go to sleep quickly, yes.

69) Is cheating ever okay?
When you cheat you're only cheating yourself. heh...

70) Are you mean?
Sometimes.

71) Can you keep white shoes clean?
No. DX

72) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
Not really. But I have been noticing that those personal questions all have to do with "exes" and some people don't have exes to be had.

73) Do you believe in true love?
Of course~

74) Do you like the outside?
Very much.

75) Are you currently bored?
Yes! And I have things to do but no drive to do them!

76) Do you wanna get married?
Sure. Not any time soon, though.

77) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Not really. I prefer more personal nicknames. Or no nicknames at all.

78) Are you hungry?
No.

79) Do you have a bank account?
Nope, I'm five years old. Fuck, of course I do.

80) What makes you happy?
Lots of things. My friends, family, boyfriend, thinking of all three of those, a drawing I'm proud of, a good TV show, good music, good food, good beverage, relaxing, sunny days... the list goes on.

81) Would you change your name?
No. I used to hate it because no one could pronounce it but now I've realized that if someone can't pronounce it after me repeating it five times then they're just a twat and my name is cool.

82) Ever been to Alaska?
Noooooo

83) Do you watch the news?
Sometimes but not often.

84) What' s your zodiac sign?
Sagittarius. The cool one.

85) Do you like Subway?
You mean do I like soggy sandwiches with shitty lettuce and hardly anything on them? No.

86) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
That person probably being one of my parents so... yeah it would because they're about two hours away from me right now.

87) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Feel really awkward.

88) Do you like your friends?
No. They're fucking losers. JK. ILU, friendsies!

89) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Almost every time I see someone I'm not super!awesome friends with, yes. I hate stupid, awkward small talk.

90) Who is the last guy you talked to?
Er, uh... Mark? On the google talk.

91) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yes. I wouldn't break up with him or anything but I'd really rather prefer it if he didn't. And he would have to wash his mouth out with listerine every time after he smoked.

92) What's going on between you and your best friend?
I think we're all pretty fine and dandy and working hard(?) on our school work. I'm super excited to see you guys this winter break! I miss yooouuu!!!

93) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Probably Megan because she's the only person I have deep conversations with (even if they're not all that deep).

94) Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
No.

95) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
As long as they're tasteful

96) What do you wear more: jeans, sweats, or shorts?
Jeans

97) You're a Sharpie marker, what color are you?
Black. Not because of my soul (which, yes, is a black abyss) but because it's the most practical.

98) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
In the morning because it helps me wake up.

99) Have you ever said you'd never love again?
No. That's a stupid thing to say.

100) Do you want to please everyone?
You can't please everyone. I want to please the people I love and who love me.

HAY! Check this out! (You have to clicky click on it to see the full image)



Finished it a couple of days ago.

Time to go do something productive now.

Quizzes and Thanksgiving and stuff

Your rainbow is intensely shaded white, green, and violet.

What is says about you: You are a contemplative person. You feel strong ties to nature and your mood changes with its cycles. Those around you admire your fresh outlook and vitality. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

This Thanksgiving was pretty different from most of the Thanksgivings I'm used to. We just had a Thanksgiving with the four of us and the Miner family (close family friends) and, of course, my Halmony. We had a very delicious meal with a prime rib as the entree. As far as Thanksgivings go, it didn't really seem very Thanksgiving-y to me. Not that I'm complaining. I like just being able to spend time with people I like, whether it's a holiday or not. I did think about what I am thankful for, though. Like the fact that we have such amazing food to put on the table and that, at least at the moment and hopefully not for a very long time, I won't have to worry about whether or not I will be able to put foo don the table. I have amazing friends and family and the best boyfriend I could hope for (even if I can't even talk to him on the phone for another few weeks). I guess, like Megan's cousin, I am thankful for being able to have hope for the future. Anyway, it was a good Thanksgiving.

Yesterday Lisa, Kory and I went hiking which was fun. I was having a really good time until we realized that they lied to us and it seriously COULD NOT have been just a 4 mile hike up. I don't know what was going on there. It seemed like it took forever. I was getting pretty frustrated/bored though. I don't even really regret turning back prematurely. I was so wet, frozen and tired by that time that I just wanted to get the fuck back down to the starting point. The mountain will be there some other time and then I'll be ready and prepared for how long it truly is. THE MOUNTAIN WILL BE DEFEATED!

Anyway, I'm crazy tired.

Here's a digital painting I did a week or so ago. (click)

Life and things and stuff

I feel like I should make an update of my life other than the fact that I don't have money. Well, I do have money, I just don't have money to buy the things I want anymore. Which I guess is OK. There's no reason to be frivolous. But no new computer for me for a few more months. :(

Anyway, other than that not much has happened. Lisa is over from Korea and she stayed with me for about five days which was cool. It was nice to have someone to hang out with other than the usual Ainsley and Sara and Justine. I haven't been in the best mood, lately, though so I feel like I probably wasn't as nice to Lisa as I should have been... :/ I'm probably never as nice to people as I should be, haha. I'm just a mean person, I guess. ^^;

Diana's big 2-1 was on Saturday (though we celebrated on Friday) and it was really cool to get together with some of my most favorite people and celebrate with her! It's a big step, I feel. Although it's just another year older... being alive for 21 years is kind of a lot. I mean, it's not old, but a lot sure has happened in 21 years, haha. So congratulations to Diana for surviving this long! Let's hope there are much more than 21 years to come.

Other than that stuff not much has really changed about my life since the last time I made a real post. Oh, I drew a picture a while ago that I didn't put up.

I've been kind of in an art slump lately, though. I want to draw but I either don't have time or inspiration or both. Bah. School. I've pretty much just been studying and reading and sleeping. I can't wait until this quarter is over. Then at least next quarter all of my homework will probably be something art related... which I may or may not hate. We'll see.

Anyway, this smelly kid needs to go take a shower.

P.S. Here is a picture of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet. It's definitely Tim Burton-y but it kind of looks... well... transvestite. But whatever. It might not be a final decision of his costume. Plus, Johnny Depp can definitely pull it off, I think. But I'm really looking forward to the movie. ^^ I think Alan (Allen?) Rickman is playing the caterpillar. ^^

I have no money.

*Jedi mind trick* this is a clever title... *EDIT*

I feel like I should update something... I also feel like writing something... but I don't knowwwww.

Let's copy Lisa and do a bullet post, shall we?

• Halloween - I was kind of upset/surprised that I didn't see a whole lot of people dressed up. But then again I wasn't dressed up so I really can't complain that much. There was a girl in my Japanese class who dressed up as Rainbow Bright so that was cool. It was the slutty costume but she managed to make it non-slutty through layering which I thought was sensible, especially since it's the middle of the day and you're going to class. At a party or whatever, sure, fine, but at class... that's just not good. So I skipped out of English and went home where I watched House of Wax and Ghost Hunters [Live]. We got 11 trick-or-treaters. Not 11 groups, 11 KIDS. I don't blame them, though. Especially after reading that article of the poor kid who was shot to death after knocking on the wrong door. I think, if I have kids, I might not feel safe enough to let them go out trick-or-treating unless I could really trust my neighborhood. I would probably take them to the mall or something like most parents do these days. Anyway, handed out delicious king size candybars to kids and watched Ghost Hunters for about 5-6 hours. Then turned in early... about 11? Maybe that was the night I talked to Minguk too. :(
• I miss Minguk a lot.
• School has been giving me a lot of work lately. It's all pretty easy, mostly just reading assignments and design assignments and regular homework assignments, but it tends to accumulate into a lot and I kind of worry that I might forget to do something since that's so like me. Maybe that stresses me out a bit. But not really. I really don't feel stressed at all.
  
• Apparently I grind my teeth as I sleep (this has only happened once as far as Ainsley knows but it may have happened while she sleeps too or when I'm not sleeping in the same room as her). So I'm trying to figure out reasons why this would be. I looked up online and it said stuff about oddly aligned teeth and missing teeth and stuff... I don't have any missing teeth (except for the ones that were pulled out but those caps have long since closed) but I kind of have an oddish bite because I think my bottom jaw is moved slightly to the right so they're not perfectly aligned. I really hope it's not because of a weird bite because that is a lot harder (and expensive) to fix that me just being stressed. So I have kind of a list of reasons why i would be stressed out even if I don't feel it (because I think I'm immune to the feeling, which is probably unhealthy)...
  >> I miss Minguk a lot and I worry about him sometimes and I'm sad.
  >> Money
  >> Classwork load
  >> Body image issues (?) (I've always had body image issues, they waver
  and flow, are strong and are weak, but they're always there. Right now
  they're probably somewhere in between.)
  I'm thinking it's probably the first one because everyone stresses out about all the other stuff and yet you don't see everyone having to get their veneers replaced and crowns put on etc. etc. But how to fix it? I don't want to stop thinking about him because that leads to other problems, yet I don't want my teeth to be worn down to sawdust. I talked about this whole long distance business with Megan the other night and I guess I'll just have to wait it out and stay positive and think of happy things. Anyway, I'm stressing (haha) about this a lot because I really like my teeth. I think they're nice. And I don't want to have to get dentures or anything.
• Anyway... what else? Is there anything else...? I'm going home this weekend because (OMG) Lisa is home! So I will see her and get a special present from Minguk that I'm like peeing my pants over because I'm so excited.
• I'm hungry.
• **EDIT** Something I forgot to mention. Our new president! Duh! Obaaaammmaaa!!! I was so excited when I saw on CNN that he is our new president. I ran into my apartment mates' room and started dancing. But they hadn't heard the news yet so they just kind of stared at my funny. Then it announced on the show that Obama is the next president (They were watching Stewart and Colbert) and they got excited too. It was so empowering. It was like a rush of new excitement and hope for the future permiated through my body. Amazing. After Obama's speech I went straight to bed but I'm kind of sad I missed the celebration downtown. Oh well...
• ALSO. ANY CONSERVATIVE WHO WANTED MCCAIN TO WIN WHO SAYS THAT THEY ARE GOING TO MOVE TO CANADA IS A FREAKING IDIOT AND THEY ARE THE REASON WHY THIS COUNTRY IS FAILING. That is all.
  
  
  

New haircut ㅜㅜ

LOL. WEAR! NOT WHERE. STUPID.

Seriously... the only reasons why I'm not actually upset about this is because A. it was free and B. my hair grows crazy fast so it'll be a proper set of bangs in like a week or so. But in the mean time I'll be staring at the sidewalk a lot...

The real kicker is that I got it at Studio One Twelve. That last time I went there they did a really amazing job on me. But it wasn't the same hairdresser... at least she was super nice, though.

Ha-Ha-Halloween

I'm going to spend this Halloween chilling with my parents and probably watching really bad movies with my dad. I'm pretty excited. For some reason, I've been missing my parents like crazy these past couple of weeks. I don't really know why. Maybe it's kind of similar to Megan's homesickness thing... except my guy is all the way in Korea so I kind of feel like, for some reason, spending time with my parents brings me closer to him...? I just want to spend time with people who love me. Also, I hardly got to see my parents over the summer which, while my summer was amazing, was a bummer. Speaking of bad movies, I just got (got..ish) Dead Alive, which I heard last year from a pretty reliable source that it was a riot. It's directed by Peter Jackson and is apparently an amazing B-movie about zombies. Just my type of flick. I've heard of it a bunch before but never bothered watching it but I just found it on DC so I think I'll watch it after I finish this here pooost. Despite my passion for zombie movies, I haven't seen many, which makes me feel kind of like a poseur... but whatever. I love zombie movies, I just haven't seen them all.

Mahmahmahmaaahh....

Last night I took Mark and Ryan to get the midnight release of Fallout 3. I was like one of three females there and one of them was some kid's mom, haha... I've never played it or even seen it played... I don't even really know what it's about, but Mark was pretty ecstatic about it so I'm guessing it must be pretty good. In exchange for giving him and Ryan a ride to GameStop last night, I get to watch Mark play it some time... my proposition of this agreement seemed to catch Mark somewhat off track since I guess no one has ever said that they wanted to watch him play a game before, but I really enjoy watching people play games (Reason number 985 why I miss Korea (watching Ste play games)).

Anyway anyway anyway...

That is all...

24-hours...?

I did attempt to participate in 24-hour comic marathon, and I held in there for about 13 hours, making 11 pages. But then I realized that I had work to do that needed to be done for school and I couldn't waste my brain away on a shitty comic when I had to use it for school work. I think "shitty comic" might sound a little harsh but you haven't seen it. I actually like the story which is why it was so hard for me to keep on doing shitty page after shitty page. I couldn't let go and accept the fact that this is a 24-hour comic and it's SUPPOSED to look like crap. But I guess my value for quality outweighs my value for... whatever the hell it is that a 24-hour comic marathon is supposed to represent. Maybe some time when I don't have school I will do a real 24-hour comic. But we'll see. Staying up that whole time really wasn't hard. Though I quit 13 hours in I still stayed up with Ainsley and watched Little Nemo and did homework and worked a little on the comic. So it wasn't hard at all to stay up. I just got frustrated with the fact that the pages looked like shit and shit isn't how I want my art to be portrayed. Sure, Ainsley gave me lip about quitting early and called me a quitter (which is one of several things that really piss me off) but I just ignored her and said that I just can't handle having my art look that shitty and she said, "Well I can let go and accept it." and I just said, "I cant." and we left it at that. But, all-in-all, it was pretty fun. I like being able to just draw all day while watching The Office and a myriad of movies.

The end of October is nearing. Uuugh... I've never been mixed with such feelings before. At one end of the spectrum, I'm ecstatic for Lisa to come back to the US and visit with us for a while! I miss my big sister. But at the far darker side of the spectrum, the beginning of November also brings the cold, cruel fact that Minguk is going to the military and I won't be able to even e-mail him for months and that makes my heart really sad. I mean, it's already hard enough having a boyfriend who is a whole ocean away, even with e-mail and skype... So the two strong feelings have left me with a sort of non-feeling. So... there it is.

I haven't eaten yet today... DX My entire eating schedule has been effed up because of last night.

HI-YA!!!

Aah... I drew this a couple days ago and colored it yesterday.

Yesterday I was really sick. I was so miserable. But today I'm pretty much back to my old self, if not just even more fatigued and sniffly... more than usual, that is.

TOMORROW... I am participating in 24 hour comic day. It was technically last weekend but I had some super awesome people over last weekend so it will have to be this weekend instead. I've never done it before and I only have kind of an idea of what I"m going to do. A general idea. So we'll see where that takes me. Hopefully it won't just be a big, fat waste of time and I won't end up killing myself on the 23rd hour. So wish me luck, guys! Saturday will be a fun, voluntary type of torture but Sunday is where the real torture begins when I'll have to do all my homework and studying that I neglected to do. Good times.... But I've got boxes of tea, a bunch of coffee and rice. So I think I'm set. Wish me luck!

If I don't make it, tell my family I love 'em.

And finally...

you are ghostwhite #F8F8FF

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Survey!

Because I'm waiting to get the urge to draw again... it's coming... (Stolen from Megan)

1.My grandpa once: proposed to my grandma on their first date. hehehe
2.Never in my life have I: smoked the dope.
3. When I was younger, I: talked a lot.
4.High school was: eh...
5.When I'm nervous: I shake.
6.The last time I really cried was: my first night back in America. lol...
7.If I were to get married right now: I would not be Nastasya.
8.My hair is: sometimes black, sometimes brown, sometimes red...?
9.My feet are: feet. Blegh.
10.When I was 5: I was 15 years younger than I am now (I seriously can't remember anything from when I was 5...)
11.Last Christmas: was my first Christmas without Lisa!!!
12.When I turn my head left: I look into my closet.
13.When I turn my head right: I see my bed and Ainsley's bed
14.My life is not complete without: your looo~~~oooove~~~
15.By this time next year: hopefully I'll be in an apartment with two less roomies.
16.I have a hard time understanding: why people think Palin is hawt.
17.One time at a family gathering: I split my pants. DX
18.Take my advice: don't start a relationship without knowing the person first.
19.My ideal breakfast is: cheerios + pumpkin granola + milk
20.If you visit my hometown: probably won't have that much fun.
21.My friends are: the coolest
22.If you spend the night at my house: you can sleep in Lisa's bed! :D
23.I would stop my wedding if: what's with the wedding questions? but I suppose I would stop my wedding if my fiance cheated on me. *ditto*
24.The world could do without: war, hate, asian ghosts and mosquitoes
25.I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick poop...?
26.The most recent thing I've bought myself is: PHO!
27.And, by the way: don't fill your mug to the top with scalding hot tea because you WILL spill all over yourself.
28.The last time I was high: was never.
29.In the past I shouldn't have been: so shy... I guess...
30.Once, at a bar/club: I got in a bar fight and came out with only on leg and half of my fingers missing. But you should have seen the other guy.
31.Last night, I: drew, wrote Minguk and e-mail and went to sleep.
32.If I didn't have any obligations tomorrow: oh wait, I don't. hahahaha
33. A better name for me would be: I think Nastasya is fine...
34.In the last 6 months: some extremely good things have entered my life.
35.If I ever go back to school: after I graduate university for the first time, I will be going back to get a masters in either illustration/fine art or sequential art
36.I bet you didn't know: oh shit, I just spilled water ALL OVER myself. hahahaha. Winner is my name, winning at life is my game.
37.I am: wet. WoooOOooooooOOOOOooooo...... I know. I meant that to by racy.
38.I read: books about fucked up kids and their fucked up lives
39.Every birthday: I get a year older, and a year wiser.
40.I regret: a few things, but at the same time I have taken those regrets and turned them into life lessons.


Uuuh.. I don't feel like drawing yet so here's another survey...

A: What accessories do you wear everyday? The ring that Lisa gave me, my watch and the necklace that Minguk gave me

B: What is your beauty routine? Take a shower... put some clothes on.

C: What was the last item of clothing (for yourself) that you purchased? My Mek jeans.

D: Do you use a dresser, closet, or both? Both

E: What type of earrings are in your ears right now? My ears aren't pierced anymore. TT__TT

F: What type of figure do you have? ... Womanly... lol...

G: Do you wear glasses? Yesss

H: What type of handbag do you carry? Uuh, a brown one from Japan and I use my Coach bag sometimes..

I: What is your ideal style? I dunno... I liked layers and detail... but I don't really dress like that. I just dress comfortably (Stacy and Clinton would be ashamed)

J: What jewelry are you wearing right now? the Lisa ring and the Minguk necklace

K: Do you wear knee-hi stockings? lol no

L: Do you *have* to wear matching lingerie? I don't even own any matching sets.

M: Do you wear makeup? No. I almost bought some today but I didn't know what kind I should get or what type of shade. I'm completely helpless...

N: Do you wear nightgowns? Yeah, when I was like 10...

O: What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winters day? My NorthFace jacket and Puma boots... probably a sweatshirt under my jacket and maybe two layers of pants.

P: What is your favorite perfume? The Jeju island perfume that Minguk gave me... hehehe.... whenever I put it on a very small part of my thinks I'm putting on penis essence or something. hahaha... Oh you'd have to know Jeju island to get it I guess...

Q: Is your motto "quality over quantity" when it comes to clothing and accessories? Yes

R: Do you wear rain boots? No, I wear... I guess snow boots?

S: Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold? Usually just socks because my slippers kind of get in the way.

T: Do you have a set of travel luggage? No, I just use my mom's.

U: What is your daily uniform? Jeans and some kind of shirt and a jacket, sweater or sweatshirt

V: If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? If not, how did you do your hair? XXXXXXX

W: Do you wear a watch? Yes. But not if I'm in my apartment - I don't need it.

X: What item of clothing always makes you feel extremely beautiful? Uuh... I never really feel beautiful. If I'm wearing fancy clothes I just feel awkward.

Y: What is your favorite type of yarn? ... what?

Z: Do you prefer zippers or buttons? Depends on what they're on.

OK. I think I can go draw now.

I LIKE When you Sleep when YOU sleep next to Me.

Aah... Drew this last night because I'm a cheeseball. Just now threw some colors on in the photoshop. bahahaha...

Oh! Fun, fun, fun times.

Yesterday was the usual humdrum day. Got up, went to school, came home, read, went back to school, came home.

After I got home for the last time I picked Calum up from his house and Chris met us there. We went to the liquor store and Calum went in a got me some green apple vodka and vodka vodka. I was pretty excited. After that we went to my apartment and met up with Ainsley. After ambling around somewhat confusedly Ainsley and I decided to head over to Haggen to pick up some Martinelli's sparkling cider and taco things. As Ainsley made us dinner (TACO DINNER) we started playing a game called Screw the Dealer. It's a pretty good way to get drunk quickly. If anyone wants to play I'll gladly teach them. So, obviously, the whole Presidential Debate drinking game kind of went under the table. I think the whole deal was basically that Sara and Justine were actually watching the debate and not drinking so we just decided to sit in the little dining nook and play a game. After like 30 minutes of drinking I'm pretty sure we annoyed away Sara and Justine and they went out to get food and stayed out for like three hours. lol... They were more than welcome to join us but they just decided not to. Oh well. But it was a good, fun, wholesome night! We got done at about 8 because Calum and Emily were going to a concert and Chris still had to drive home so he couldn't stay and get too drunk.

After everyone left, Ainsley and I went to Haggen and bought junk (lol, I totally typed "drunk" at first) food. The chashier guy looked at what I was buying and was like, "Nice choice of snack food. " and I was like, "Oh yeah!" in my completely awkward and half-drunken way.

When we got back I wrote like a novel to Minguk. Not really. I think I've written longer, but still. It was pretty long. I just reread it today and it isn't actually that bad. I mean, except for the part in the very beginning of the e-mail where I say, "I'm really sorry, Minguk, but I'm kind of drunk right now." you never would have been able to tell that I was drunk. haha... Skills.

Now I've been listening to Hellogoodbye's "Here (In Your Arms)" like all day. So good. Especially the chorus. haha...

Ooh! Minguk called me and woke me up today. I can't remember what we talked about because I was still kind of asleep throughout the entire conversation but it was really nice to talk to him. I remember laughing a lot and trying to say "rural" (which is fucking hard to say). We talked about him going to the military soon and how both of us are pretty worried about his knee because of how badly he hurt it like a year ago and it still hurts sometimes these days. I'm really worried he'll put too much stress on his knee and hurt it so badly that he'll have to get serious surgery or have to use a cane or something. :( He said he'll try to go to the hospital but I dunno if there's really enough time to get it fixed and healed before he goes to boot camp. *sigh* I guess we'll just have to wait and see. No point in me worrying about it now...

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisperes hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

P.S., Megan. I love you for talking to me last night. hahahaha

I'm tired, I'm out of things to do, but I want to keep listening to music...

So I'll do this thing and then after that hopefully I'll be satisfied.

Bold the ones that are true.
Italicize the ones that are sort of true.

GENERAL
▬ I am 5'4 or shorter.
▬ I think I'm ugly.
▬ have many scars. (Nothing really serious but they're there...)
▬ I tan easily.
▬ I wish my hair was a different color.
▬ I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
▬ I have a tattoo.
▬ I am self-conscious about my appearance.
▬ I have/had braces.
▬ I wear glasses.
▬ I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
▬ I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
▬ I have had more than two piercings.
▬ I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
▬ I have freckles. (They come and go with tans)

FAMILY/HOME LIFE
▬ I've sworn at my parents. (Not really aimed towards them...)
▬ I've run away from home.
▬ I've been kicked out of the house.
▬ My biological parents are together.
▬ I have a sibling less than one year old.
▬ I want to have kids someday. (It turns on and off)
▬ I have children.
▬ I've lost a child.

EMBARRASSMENT
▬ I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
▬ Disney movies still make me cry.
▬ I've snorted while laughing.
▬ I've laughed so hard I've cried.
▬ I've glued my hand to something.
▬ I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
▬ I've had my trousers rip in public. (In my uncle's backyard...)
▬ I've had stitches.
▬ I've broken a bone.
▬ I've had my tonsils removed.
▬ I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend. (Well... they were more with me...)
▬ I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
▬ I've had serious surgery.
▬ I've had chicken pox.

TRAVELING
▬ I've driven over 200 miles (1000km) in one day.
▬ I've been on a plane.
▬ I've been to North America.
▬ I've been to Niagara Falls.
▬ I've been to Japan.
▬ I've been to Europe.
▬ I've been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES
▬ I've been lost in my city. (give me a place where I HAVEN'T been lost)
▬ I've seen a shooting star.
▬ I've wished on a shooting star.
▬ I've seen a meteor shower.
▬ I've gone out in public in my pajamas. (To the end of the driveway...)
▬ I've pushed all the buttons in a lift.
▬ I've been to a casino.
▬ I've been skydiving.
▬ I've gone skinny dipping.
▬ I've played spin the bottle.
▬ I've crashed a car. (a car has crashed into me)
▬ I've been skiing.
▬ I've been in a play.
▬ I've met someone in person from the internet. (Not that I had really intended to)
▬ I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
▬ I've seen the northern lights.
▬ I've sat on a roof top at night.
▬ I've played chicken.
▬ I've seen the RHPS.
▬ I've eaten sushi.
▬ I've been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS
▬ I'm single.
▬ I'm in a relationship.
▬ I'm available.
▬ I'm engaged.
▬ I'm married.
▬ I've gone on a blind date.
▬ I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
▬ I have a fear of abandonment.
▬ I've been divorced.
▬ I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. (Well, I'm not really sure..)
▬ I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
▬ I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
▬ I've kept something from a past relationship.

SEXUALITY
▬ I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
▬ I've kissed a member of the same gender.
▬ I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
▬ I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
▬ I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
▬ I am a cuddler.
▬ I've been kissed in the rain.
▬ I've had sex outdoors.
▬ I've hugged a stranger.
▬ I have kissed a stranger.
▬ I have had sex with a stranger. (LOL. No thanks)

HONESTY/CRIME
▬ I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
▬ I have lied to my parents about where I am. (I can't really remember, but this is probably true)
▬ I am keeping a secret from the world. (I'M A MAN.)
▬ I've cheated while playing a video game.
▬ I've cheated on a test. (I intended on cheating but none of my answers were on the test...)
▬ I've driven through a red light. (Whoops...)
▬ I've been suspended from school.
▬ I've witnessed a crime.
▬ I've been in a fist fight.
▬ I've been arrested.
▬ I've shoplifted.

DRUGS/ALCOHOL
▬ I've consumed alcohol.
▬ I have/do smoke cigarettes.
▬ I have/do smoke pot.
▬ I regularly drink.
▬ I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
▬ I take cough medication when I'm not sick.
▬ I've done hard drugs.
▬ I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
▬ I can't swallow pills.
▬ I can swallow about five pills at a time no problem.

RANDOM
▬ I can sing well.
▬ I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
▬ I open up to others too easily.
▬ I watch the news. (Only if I planned on watching it)
▬ I don't kill bugs. (I try not to...)
▬ I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
▬ I fucking swear regularly.
▬ I sing in the shower.
▬ I am a morning person.
▬ I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
▬ I'm a snob about grammar.
▬ I am a sports fanatic.
▬ I play with my hair.
▬ I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
▬ I love being neat.
▬ I love spam.
▬ I've copied more than 30 cds in a day.
▬ I bake well.
▬ My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
▬ I don't know how to shoot a gun. (I know BBs...)
▬ I am in love with love.
▬ I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
▬ I laugh at my own jokes.
▬ I eat fast food weekly.
▬ I believe in ghosts.
▬ I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
▬ I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
▬ I am really ticklish.
▬ I love white chocolate.
▬ I bite my nails.
▬ I play video games.
▬ I'm good at remembering faces.
▬ I'm good at remembering names.
▬ I'm good at remembering dates.
▬ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
▬ My answers are totally honest.

I have been listening to Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" like all day and it's put me into a really sentimental mood... haha. ^^;;

Today I met up with a friend who I never get to see but always like to hang out with. It was cool catching up and stuff. We like pretty much the same exact things so we can talk for hours. I'm sad I don't get to see her very much but we're both pretty busy (well, she is busy a lot more than I am). But hopefully this year we will be able to see more of each other. I've known her since like my freshman year but we've hung out only a handful of times since then... but whenever we get together we can talk so easily. It's a nice little friendship.

Anyway, I'd better get to bed. I have to wake up bright and early tomorrow!!! DX

Commenting...

I just figured out how to make it so that anyone can comment on my blog (even if you don't have one). So... there.

Hot Tea on a Rainy Day :)

Today is the first actual rainy day I've experienced in Washington since I got back from Korea. I loved the sunny, warm weather but having lived in Washington for... oh... about 13 years... I couldn't completely feel like I was really back home in Washington until today. It's nice to be back. ^^

I still haven't gotten my computer fixed. I went to that NW Computer Service center yesterday only to find that it wasn't actually there... so I put a post on the WWU livejournal community asking people if they had any other recommendations on computer repair shops and this guy told me to go to Geek Squad. I totally spaced on Geek Squad. So I think after I get back from school later this evening I will head over there and see what can be done about my laptop. I really just want to buy a new computer, though. I was surfing around on the Dell website and it was so tempting to put an order in, especially since I got more money from the loan people than I usually do so I feel like I'm rolling in cash. I really need to learn how to spend my money wisely, though. Haha... *totally didn't just buy a pair of $100 shoes...* >.>;; I needed them! DON'T JUDGE ME!

But other than that, not a whole lot has been happening. I think this weekend will be good, though. At least I hope. Apparently I'm going to a party some time this weekend and we're going to watch Kung Fu Hustle (which, supposedly, I can't be my friends' friend until I've seen it). So that will be fun, I hope. Aaah... yeah.

Excuse me but I'm going to be a little cheesy right now.

I'm sure some people who read this will be able to relate, especially those in long-distance relationships. Those who can't relate, I hope, can at least understand where I'm coming from. But... since I've been in this relationship with Minguk and since I've had to force myself away from him in order to go to school, I pretty much spend all my time thinking about him. It's not like, "Oooh, Minguk. I miss you so much. Why can't I be with you right now this very second? I can't think of anything or anyone but you." I mean, it's like that sometimes but a lot of the time I'm constantly thinking about him but I can also think about and focus on other things. Like... I may be focusing on something else but he's always there in the back of my mind. Maybe that's what's keeping me sane, just knowing that he exists and constantly acknowledging that. Does anyone else experience that? Maybe not about a boyfriend or girlfriend necessarily but just something that's always comforting to have in the back of your mind? Maybe that sort of thinking is more thinking with your heart and not so much your mind...? lol... that was way too cheesy. I'm sorry. But... thinking about him constantly like that example I gave before would be really unhealthy, I think. I mean, I'm thinking about him now with most of my focus and my heart keeps tugging at me and I wish he were near me so bad right now like sitting on my bed and saying something like, "Oh! How can you type so fast!?" or "I think it's lunchtime, let's eat." or something completely dull like that. But I can't think like that all the time or else I would go crazy because I know that he can't be here and I won't be able to actually be in his presence for nine months. So... that type of thinking - the thinking of him in the back of my mind - is really a sort of protection for me. It keeps me from going crazy in a couple ways I guess. It prevents me from thinking about him too little and forgetting about him and it keeps me from thinking about him too much and dying of lonliness. Anyway. That was probably really stupid and confusing and now you hate me. Sorry...

Lisa started one...

After all that hootin' and hollerin' about Livejournal because of its drama, Lisa decided to change to Blogger which, in my opinion, is just as bad.

However I don't really care about drama on websites since I'm so incredibly anti-social, I don't usually even notice it. But, since I'm the younger sister (and because I'm bored while trying to avoid reading 75 pages of Asian oppression in America), I decided to follow Lisa over here from Xanga.

I was going to create a new blog anyway... I feel like I'm a very different person from the one I was three months ago.

My laptop has been overheating and turning off on itself about every hour or so. I was going to go get it fixed today but I ended up just getting lost for about an hour. I've been living in this city for 2 years going on 3 and I still get lost. Not only do I get lost, but I get lost REALLY easily. I don't think it helps that Bellingham is full of one-way streets, though. But I found my way back and will make my roommate go with me tomorrow because she actually knows where this crazy, hidden, computer store is. My computer, who was dubbed "Cutie-Computie" by a friend, is often referred to either the "bitch girlfriend" or "abusive boyfriend". I think this sheds some light on the relationship between my computer and myself. It abuses me and treats me badly but I just can't seem to let it go.***

Other than that, life here has been pretty tame and, honestly, boring. When compared to this summer in Yeosu, especially. However, I have some good friends here and the school year has only just begun so things may brighten up. I just hope that this year will be as busy as possible so it will go by quickly so I can go back to Korea and be reuinited with Minguk (and all you other people). I really do miss all my Korea-dwelling mates quite a lot and can't wait to seem them (IN NINE FREAKING MONTHS). Anyway, I just have to work hard here and do what I can to prepare for the future.

Byeee...



***I would like to point out that if my boyfriend were actually abusive towards me I WOULD leave him and not try to get him fixed like so many foolish ladies do. ^^